CoachHyattIsaRiot! - (EPUB全文下载)

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My Weird School Daze #4
Coach Hyatt Is a Riot!
Dan Gutman
Pictures by Jim Paillot
For Emma
Contents
1 The Thing I Love
2 Coach Hyatt Is Mean
3 Cheerleaders Who Throw Up
4 Weird Training Methods
5 Dancing in the End Zone
6 Rufus the Doofus
7 The Sharks
8 The First Half
9 Halftime
10 Our Secret Weapon
11 The Moose Goes Nuts
12 The Secret Play
13 UFM*
About the Author and the Illustrator
Copyright
About the Publisher
 
1
The Thing I Love
My name is A.J. and I love school.
Going to school is just so much fun! I wish we could go to school at night. I wish we could go to school on the weekend. I wish we never had vacations.
Just kidding!
I hate school! Do you know what I would rather do than go to school? I would rather eat a dead-bug sandwich. No, I would rather eat a live-bug sandwich. That would be even worse than a dead-bug sandwich, because the bugs would still be moving around in the sandwich while I was eating it. Ugh, disgusting! But even more disgusting than eating a live-bug sandwich is going to school.
I don’t hate everything, you know. Some stuff I love. Like video games. And skate-boarding. And trick biking.
I’ll tell you the one thing that I really love more than anything in the world. And it’s not Andrea Young, this annoying girl in my class with curly brown hair.
I love Pee Wee Football.
In the fall I play football every Saturday. Football is cool because you get to push and shove and yell and knock kids on their butts. And the best part is, you don’t even get punished!
At school, if you push and shove and yell and knock kids on their butts, you have to go to the principal’s office. But in football you’re supposed to push and shove and yell and knock kids on their butts.
That’s why I hate school and love Pee Wee Football. If you ask me, the world would be a better place if they closed all the schools and turned them into Pee Wee Football camps.
The only problem is, my team stinks! We’re called the Moose,* and we lost every game last season. Every game!
The good news is, we’re getting a new coach this year named Coach Hyatt. I bet he’ll be a lot better than our old coach, Mr. Boozer. Mr. Boozer was a loser.
I put on my uniform and shoulder pads to get ready for our first practice. Shoulder pads are cool because they make it look like you have big muscles. Our uniform is red, and we have red helmets with a lightning bolt down the middle.
Mom drove me to practice at the high school field. We got out of the car and looked around until we found the o ............

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