DiaryOfAWimpyKid07-TheThirdWheel - (EPUB全文下载)

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Diary Of A Wimpy Kid The Third Wheel Jeff Kinney TO GRAM JANUARYSundayI wish I’d started keeping a journal a lot earlier on, because whoever ends up writing my biography is gonna have a lot of questions about my life in the years leading up to middle school.Luckily, I remember just about everything that’s happened to me since I was born. In fact, I can even remember stuff happened to me BEFORE I was born.Back in those days it was just me swimming around in the dark, doing backflips and taking naps whenever I wanted.Then one day when I was in the middle of a really good nap, I got woken up by these strange noises coming from outside.At the time I didn’t know what the heck I was hearing, but later on I found out it was Mom piping in music through these speakers she put on her belly.I guess Mom thought if she played classical music for me every day before I was born it would turn me into some kind of genius.Those speakers came with a microphone, and when Mom wasn’t playing music, she was telling me everything that was going on in her life.And when Dad came home from work, Mom would have him give me a blow-by-blow of HIS day.But that wasn’t the end of it. Every night, Mom would read to me for a half hour before she went to bed.The problem is, my sleep schedule didn’t line up with Mom’s. So when she was sleeping, I’d be wide awake.I actually wish I’d paid more attention when Mom was reading to me, though.Last week in school we had a pop quiz on a book, and I hadn’t read it yet. I was pretty sure Mom read that one to me before I was born, but I couldn’t remember any of the details.I guess the week Mom was reading that book, I was busy doing something else.The crazy thing is, Mom didn’t NEED to use the microphone for me to hear her.I mean, I was INSIDE of her, so I could hear every word she said whether I wanted to or not.I could also hear just about EVERYTHING that was happening on the outside. So when Mom and Dad got all mushy, I had to listen to THAT, too.I’ve never really felt comfortable when people are acting affectionate around me, ESPECIALLY when it’s my parents. I tried to get them to stop, but they never got the message.In fact, everything I tried just seemed to make things WORSE.After a few months of living like this, I had to get out of there, and that’s why I was born three weeks early. But after being hit by the cold air and the blinding lights of the delivery room, I wished I’d just stayed put.By the time I came into the world, I was totally sleep ............

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