TheGiftofFailure - (EPUB全文下载)

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For Benjamin and Finnegan
I know you all, and will awhile uphold
The unyoked humour of your idleness.
Yet herein will I imitate the sun,
Who doth permit the base contagious clouds
To smother up his beauty from the world,
That, when he please again to be himself,
Being wanted, he may be more wonder’d at,
By breaking through the foul and ugly mists
Of vapours that did seem to strangle him.
If all the year were playing holidays,
To sport would be as tedious as to work;
But when they seldom come, they wish’d for come,
And nothing pleaseth but rare accidents.
So, when this loose behaviour I throw off
And pay the debt I never promised,
By how much better than my word I am,
By so much shall I falsify men’s hopes;
And like bright metal on a sullen ground,
My reformation, glittering o’er my fault,
Shall show more goodly and attract more eyes
Than that which hath no foil to set it off.
I’ll so offend, to make offence a skill,
Redeeming time when men think least I will.
 
Prince Hal, Act I, Scene 2, Henry IV, Part I
CONTENTS
Title Page
Dedication
Epigraph
Introduction: how I learned to let go
 
PART I
FAILURE: A MOST VALUABLE PARENTING TOOL
1: How failure became a dirty word: a brief history of Western parenting
2: Why parenting for dependence doesn’t work
3: Less really is more: parenting for autonomy and competence
4: Encouragement from the sidelines: the real connection between praise and self-esteem
 
PART II
LEARNING FROM FAILURE: TEACHING KIDS TO TURN MISTAKES INTO SUCCESS
5: Opportunities for competence
6: Friends: accomplices to failure and the formation of identity
7: Sports: losing as an essential childhood experience
8: Early teens: prime time for failure
9: Secondary school and beyond: toward real independence
 
PART III
SUCCEEDING AT SCHOOL: LEARNING FROM FAILURE IS A TEAM EFFORT
10: Parent-teacher partnerships: how our fear of failure undermines education
11: Homework: how to help without taking over
12: The real value of a low mark
Conclusion: what I’ve learned from letting go
Acknowledgments
Notes
Bibliography
About the Author
Copyright
Introduction:
HOW I LEARNED TO LET GO
I became a parent and a secondary school teacher in the same year, and these twin roles have shaped the way I’ve raised my children and educated my students. During my first decade raising two boys and teaching hundreds of children, I began to feel a creeping sense of unease, a suspicion that something was rotten in the ............

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