GettingtoYeswithYourself - (EPUB全文下载)

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DEDICATION
To my teachers—with profound gratitude

CONTENTS
Dedication
Introduction: The First Negotiation
   
1  
Put Yourself in Your
Shoes
From Self-Judgment to Self-Understanding
   
2  
Develop Your Inner BATNA
From Blame to Self-Responsibility
   
3  
Reframe Your Picture
From Unfriendly to Friendly
   
4  
Stay in the Zone
From Resistance to Acceptance
   
5  
Respect Them Even If
From Exclusion to Inclusion
   
6  
Give and Receive
From Win-Lose to Win-Win-Win
Conclusion: The Three Wins
Acknowledgments
Notes
About the Author
Also by William Ury
Copyright
About the Publisher
INTRODUCTION
THE FIRST NEGOTIATION
Let him who would move the world first move himself.
—SOCRATES
How can we get to yes
with others? How can we resolve the conflicts that naturally arise with colleagues and bosses, spouses and partners, clients and customers, children and family members, indeed almost everyone we interact with? How can we get what we really
want and at the same time deal with the needs of others in our lives? Perhaps no human dilemma is more pervasive or challenging.

I have been working on this dilemma throughout my professional life. Three and a half decades ago I had the privilege of coauthoring with my late mentor and colleague Roger Fisher Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In
. That book helped people change the way they negotiate with others at work, at home, and in the community. With millions of copies in circulation around the world, it helped transform the popular mindset for dealing with differences from “win-lose” thinking to a “win-win” or “mutual gains” approach.
Reaching mutually satisfying agreements can often be highly challenging, however. Since the publication of Getting to Yes,
I have had the opportunity to train tens of thousands of people in all walks of life in the methods of mutual gains negotiation: managers, lawyers, factory workers, coal miners, schoolteachers, diplomats, peacekeepers, parliamentarians, and government officials. Many report success in changing the game from “win-lose” to “win-win,” but others struggle. Even if they have learned the basics of a win-win approach to negotiation, when placed in situations of conflict, they revert back to costly and destructive win-lose methods, usually attributing this reversion to the necessity of dealing with difficult people.
Because I have focused in my work on how to deal with difficult people and challenging situations, I thought I
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