WakingUp_HowIFoundMyFaithByLosingIt - (EPUB全文下载)

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Waking Up
How I Found My Faith By Losing It
Ted Dekker
Outlaw Studios
Contents
Waking Up
Waking Up
“
W

aking Up
?” you ask. “You lost your faith?”
In a matter of speaking, yes and no. No, because I never lost faith in the fundamentals of what I thought I believed. Yes, because far too much of the time I didn’t trust what I believed. My life experience wasn’t lining up with what I thought I believed.
Mine was less a crisis of doctrine than a crisis of experience. What I thought I believed wasn’t bearing out in the world around me. It just didn’t add up. Didn’t Jesus say that whatever we asked in his name would be done? But it wasn’t being done, not in my life, nor in the lives of anyone I knew. And didn’t Jesus say that those who followed Him would be known by their radical ability to show kindness to those who were cruel to them? And yet Christians aren’t generally known for their love any more than their neighbors are.
Something was wrong. Very wrong.
It was at the height of my career, having sold over 10 million copies of the books I’d written, that I realized, in great travail, that I had lost my faith and, in fact, did so whenever I found myself in anxiety or fear.
I mean, I believed all the right things about God, but could I really let go of everything and trust Him in all things? If so, I would not experience fear. There is no fear in love and God is love.
And you are the same. Any time you find yourself worrying about anything, or upset because someone has dishonored or betrayed you, it is only because you have placed your faith in something other than Jesus. As such, you have lost your faith in Him and instead put it in something or someone else.
It was that faith that I had to lose so that I could experience true faith in Christ.
But how could I, Ted Dekker, openly share my struggles in a world where anyone in my position is essentially placed high on a pedestal for all to look at? I was afraid. Expressing my struggles would surely bring the whole world crashing down on me, I thought.
But the world came crashing down on me anyway. Or I should say my
world came crashing down—that place deep inside me, where I could no longer reconcile all that I thought I knew with the world I saw and experienced.
What about you? Do you every fear or are you ever anxious? How do you react when those who you thought loved you are unkind to you or betray you? Is your life experience failing to manifest the promise of peace that you once experienced? And are y ............

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